ZAYLAN JACOBSEN, A close friend of Connor’s since their freshman year at Sumner, came to Stanford for a visit last winter. He and Connor shared the same leadership classes under a mentor named John Norland. The notion of aiding the homeless came from those years, with encouragement from Norland and each other. The friends thought alike.
They loved helping others and when Jacobsen told Connor about taking a homeless person to lunch and talking for three hours, Connor wondered, Why didn’t I think of that?
“That’s cool,” Connor recalled. “So I tried it and saw the real value in authentic conversations -- how having one conversation with one person is more impactful than giving 15 giftcards to 15 people.”
Jacobsen spent nights on the streets in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and San Diego, to understand the feeling of being homeless. He conceived Hope Given By, and the thought of starting such a venture gnawed on him so much that he left Babson College in Massachusetts to do so. It was only a one-man dream at the time.
“My only plan was to start some kind of nonprofit,” Jacobsen said. “I decided to live out of my car for a couple of days to see Connor. Being a good friend, he embraced the project and helped pull it all together. I had the idea, but I credit him for making it happen.”
Wedington placed donation boxes in the locker room and rallied support from his dorm. Room 322 looked like a storage unit with all the clothes classmates left. The key was securing a partnership with a sock company, Bombas, which provided hundreds of pairs of socks for distribution.
The next step was scouting The City. For Connor and Zaylan, it was daunting.
“Seattle has a pretty big homeless population, but I’ve never seen anything like San Francisco,” Wedington said.
Once they figured out a plan and the best routes, they embarked in earnest with a group of four. Each week, the numbers grew, eventually to as many as 30. Teammates Osiris St. Brown, Donald Stewart, Brycen Tremayne, and Michael Wilson were regulars.
As the weeks went by, the faces of the homeless became more familiar. One woman ran across the street to greet Connor with a hug upon seeing him. The stories they heard were heartbreaking.
“There are people who said this is something they wanted to do, and there are people who said this is something they didn’t want to do,” Wedington said. “It’s definitely something a lot of people don’t understand, myself included.
“Multiple people told me they first became homeless after being brought into sex trafficking. Pimps injected them with heroin, and then after they got done with their business, they were thrown into the streets. They already were addicted, and then they’re in this cycle. How can I fault them for that?”
The reactions, especially from first-time volunteers, were unique as they processed their experiences. On the late-afternoon rides back to campus, some laughed, some cried, others stared into space.
“I remember doing the same exact thing,” Wedington said. “Some wouldn’t say a word the whole ride. I was like, ‘You good?’ But those are realization moments. They’re important to have, because those give you another perspective to look at your life.”
Wedington realized that he cannot go into a place like the Tenderloin and tell people what to do, like ‘Stay away from drugs,’ even as his understanding of the aftermath grows with each visit.
“How can I judge someone on their behavior when I’m not living the life that they’ve lived,” Wedington said. “Even if it was their choice to go in and do heroin for the first time, who knows what factors led up to that. How would I know that I wouldn’t do the same thing if I lived the exact same life and had the same things happen to me?”
Did Wedington and Hope Given By make a difference?
“We alleviated at least a little bit of suffering, and we had real conversations,” Jacobsen said. “We had some grown men come to tears.”
Jacobsen believes that Hope Given By can become a movement. That Stanford can inspire other football programs, other teams, and other universities to do the same thing in their communities. He is writing a proposal and mission statement.
Wedington has aspirations of starting his own business and is even more convinced that community service will be a key element.
“Did we make a huge impact? Probably not,” Wedington said. “But did we make a difference? Yes.
Those whose feet stayed warm and dry for a few nights would agree. Those who were barefoot, and given shoes to wear, might also agree.
But there are more homeless than ever roaming San Francisco, in dark corners, under overpasses, in bushes and wherever a peaceful and protected night can be spent.
Is it worth trying?
Wedington did not hesitate before answering.
“I believe so,” he said.